Bars With Daycares Coming to B.C.

"Upside down!" is what Opposition Politician Harlan Carey Pooley is calling the Christy Clark Government's latest, "Social engineering experiment." for British Columbia.

"B.C. Mom's need a break!" insists Premier Clark

In an effort to reduce the stress on harried parents in British Columbia, the Christy Clark Liberal Government has passed legislation clearing the way for pubs, bars and lounges to have their own daycares attached.

"Gone are the days of my childhood when I sat out in the freezing car in the parking lot of Three Sister's Casino in Canmore waiting for my Mom and whoever she left with to finally decide barfing on your shoes twice was enough and it was time to go home." Said Ed Skinner-Lister, Minister of Health.

In a rambling statement Mr. Skinner-Lister elaborated further. "This way parents are free to take a cab home, knowing their kids are safe in the bar's daycare. They don't even have to wake them up or keep the car running, you know that carbon monoxide is always a danger so you'd have to run out to the car every ten minutes to make sure they kept the windows cracked and I mean, once a kid can put a car in gear you can't leave it running anyway and that lets out winter which for the rest of the country, which we expect to follow suit soon, that means no kids sitting in a running car in the parking lot for six to seven months a year and then what, leave 'em at home alone, is that safe? We've all seen that movie with the burglars."

Clark herself has said, "Parents should be really happy with this Pro-Family move on our parts. I mean, we can't get the schools going so let's get some pressure off parents. And this harkens back to the olden olden days when kids went to bars WITH their parents and people still used words like 'harken'! It's a return to Quality Family Time."

Empress Hotel Bar, 1672, Victoria, B.C. (note children)

Bar owners are ecstatic about the coming windfall.  Boone Sully-Richter, President of the 'B.C. Bar, Sport's Bar and Lounge Association of B.C., British Columbia Chapter' has already made a bulk purchase of Huggies from Costco at a substantial discount.

"I got a substantial discount on Huggies from Costco. When a small business owner like myself can go to Costco and tell them I will need 150,000 diapers this year, well, you can bet they sit right up and take notice.

We're almost ready to go, we just need to train the bouncers in Early Childhood Education. We're only using Christian bouncers so people can be assured their kiddies are in good hands, you know like they're with a priest."